


DVD Extra: Timeline for "The Land of Lost Content"

by DesireeArmfeldt, orphan_account



Series: The Land of Lost Content [4]
Category: due South
Genre: Bonus Material, Epistolary, F/M, M/M, Metafiction, Summary of the Gist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-06
Updated: 2012-09-06
Packaged: 2017-11-13 16:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/505361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesireeArmfeldt/pseuds/DesireeArmfeldt, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the writing and editing process, "The Land of Lost Content" got pretty complicated to figure out.  So we developed a Timeline, which went by many names (Mr. Instinct vs. the Timeline was one; Dolphin Boy Meets the Timeline was another).  It helped us out a lot!  Although, perhaps, not enough, as we just completed an editing job that smoothed out some continuity errors and also added some bonus correspondence between Kowalski and Stella.  </p><p>Anyway, we grew kind of fond of Timeline, and so now we're throwing it out as a "Land of Lost Content" DVD extra.  So if you like self-deconstruction and authorial levity, please enjoy Timeline in all its glory.  </p><p>Naturally, its very nature means that it has spoilers for the entire story.</p><p>(Frankly, Sock_Marionette was convinced that if we didn't post Timeline, it would just post itself as soon as its AO3 invite came through.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	DVD Extra: Timeline for "The Land of Lost Content"

Timeline for “The Land of Lost Content,” Organized Chronologically for the Benefit of the Writers & Several Readers, Including Summaries & Commentary &tc for Further Amusement and Edification

 

July 3 F-to-V: Congratulations on your abrupt but happy union.

July 3 F-to-K: Why haven't you written? Enjoy me being gossipy to cover up the fact that my biggest concern is _Why haven't you written _?__

July 11 V-to-F: Marriage kicks ass! You should totally get yourself a girlfriend.

July 12 K-to-F: I haven't written because I don't write. Also, here is some gossip because apparently that is what you need in life? Freak.

July 13 K-to-S: Here is a card: let's bee friends. It has a picture of a bee on it, get it? Anyway, so I didn't completely turn you off marriage, just marriage to me. Yay? Also, I'm kinda interested in how to be a decent pen pal.

July 18 F-to-V: Fort Conquest yak-yak-yak [it's possible I'm not entirely happy].

July 19 S-to-K: It's nice you reached out. Is there something more specific I can help you with?

July 21 F-to-K: I am giddy with relief that you have written. Look at how happy and well-adjusted I am! [I thought you wanted to throw the settled life away, but I guess not.]

July 25 K-to-S: I've kind of got someone I wanna be with, but it's maybe doomed? How did I make you fall in love with me, anyway?

July 26 V-to-F: Heroin? What heroin? Also, you do not seem entirely all right.

July 28 K-to-F: I really don't know what you want, so have a wacky anecdote. Also, my job is all I have going for me right now.

July 30 S-to-K: Pedestals. So many pedestals. That's a metaphor, Ray.

August 7 K-to-S: Okay, but what if this person really is better than me? And kind of oblivious.

August 9 F-to-V: Underneath my usual me-blither, I'm rather preoccupied with sin and self-destruction.

August 10 F-to-K: I am pleased the job is going well, but surprised that's all you have going for you right now. I was sure you'd be dating a variety of ladies by now, if not one in particular. Elaine, for example.

August 12 S-to-K If she's not picking up on your signals, here are some really depressing reasons as to why that might be. Also, run a CBA on this relationship: is the risk of losing her friendship entirely worth the potential reward of getting into her pants? Just sayin'.

August 17 V-to-F: You seriously do not seem to be all right.

August 19 K-to-S: You're kind of cold on the subject of friendship. Also, it's _his _pants I'm trying to get into.__

August 19 K-to-F: Look, this is bullshit. Do you wanna gossip or have a real conversation? I've been having real conversations, pal, about friendship and stuff. With a smart lady. Who is also kinda full of shit, but at least she isn't asking me dumbass crap about the 2-7. Also, women are constantly trying to pick you up, have you the social awareness of a turnip? But I'm going to be cryptic about why I'm asking. Also, me and Elaine? Not gonna happen.

August 23 S-to-K: A dude???? OMG!! Do I join PFLAG now or what? Also, this little piece of information kind of throws everything I said before in the crapper.

August 24 F-to-V: I'm really not all right at all.

August 29 F-to-K: I'm sorry you find my correspondence to be deficient. Let me answer your question about women with an anecdote, but it is about rock and/or roll, not caribou, because I desperately want to speak to you in your own particular idiom. Clearly you are asking about relationships because this smart lady of whom you speak is of interest to you but is unaware of said interest.

August 29 K-to-S: Ha, shoulda seen the look on your face. Also, it never occurred to me that maybe someone sexually abused the person I love most in the world, so thanks for putting that thought in my mind where it will stay forever and ever.

August 31 V-to-F: Who do I have to sort out in this situation that’s making you so unhappy? Cause I know guys. And stuff.

September 2 S-to-K: Maybe this GUY (and I am never letting that go) just doesn't know you're interested because you can actually be kind of cagy when it suits you. Also, if he was sexually abused, I got nothing except a sincere & hearty that's really dreadful. But I mooted that theory when I thought you were dealing with an oblivious chick, not an oblivious guy, so it probably doesn't even apply. I hope.

September 6: K-to-F: That was no lady, that was my (ex) wife. Why don't you think you can have a relationship?

September7: F-to-V: I'm in love with a man, but it doesn't matter as he cares for another and I will now concentrate on my career.

September 14: V-to-F: Wow, you _really _never take the stairs when you can jump out the window, you big gay complicator of things.__

September18: F-to-K: Allow me to tell you about one time I thought I had both emotional and physical intimacy with someone. Her name was Victoria and it. . .did not end well. Meanwhile, I like you too, and you're trying to seduce a girl, aren't you? [I am also waiting with some anxiety to see if my other important friend is still talking to me after I sprung it on him that I'm in love with another man, but I am most certainly not writing to you about that.]

September 22 F-to-V: I am reduced to quoting Whittier, because for a half-hour or so I thought my latest flailing at love would succeed, but it crashed and burned and, really, it's time to concentrate on my career. Also, do you still like me even though you now know I have naughty thoughts about men? Y/N.

September 27 K-to-S: Yeah, I always knew I was bi, yet I still do not understand how my locking that side of myself down may have led to this guy not understanding that I wanted to get something started with him. In fact, I've decided that everything he's saying to me has only one possible explanation: he just wants to bee friends. Only I didn't even get a card with a picture of a bee on it, so he's less sensitive than Ralph Fucking Wiggum.

September 29 K-to-F: Victoria, what a bitch. But if you carried one torch, you can carry another one, and if that one doesn't work out either, put that away in your heart. There's no way that metaphor could possibly be misinterpreted, right?

September 30 V-to-F: When did it become my job to validate your every life move, Benny? Also, enjoy this random mention of Kowalski.

October 4 S-to-K: Your guy sounds like a real mess. Is counseling an option?

October 8 F-to-K: I did fall in love again (hint, hint). Also, enjoy this whimsical flight of fancy in which I make light of how very, very boring my dream posting has turned out to be. (What a hoot!)

October 11 F-to-V: I appreciate your honest response, and incidentally I find that thinking about you doing it with Stella is also kind of gross. Also, it now occurs to me that I was, subconsciously, taking your attitudes toward my bisexuality for a test-drive. Additionally, I made a funny in Kowalski's direction. (What a hoot!)

October 18 K-to-F: Dear Fraser, Fuck off. Fuck off and die. Best regards, S. Raymond Kowalski.

October 22 K-to-V: I'm not sure what the hell Fraser's damn deal is, but he could use a friend. Write him, wouldya?

October 22 V-to-F: Hey, you sound like you’re on the mend! But be careful about who you talk to on the whole eing-bay ay-gay ing-thay, know-what-I’m-sayin’? You guys celebrate Halloween at all up there?

October 25 F-to-K: Okay, I'll be fucking off now. I'll get back to you later on the dying part. (And…not such a hoot after all?)

October 26 V-to-F: Kowalski wrote to me! About you! Did he have a freak out about the whole, ya know, with the guys and stuff?

October 30 F-to-V: I have a new colleague, Pearson, who’s good enough that I think I can maybe move out of this podunk place without letting anyone down. Also, we celebrate Halloween, which I approve of because it’s a very practical holiday for this part of the world.

November 2 K-to-S: Well, I've pretty much screwed the pooch so epically on this one that only you could appreciate just how Kowalskian my fuck-up was. It's probably too late, but got any advice here?

November 3 F-to-V: Kowalski had a big damn freakout, but it wasn't about that. I'm not even sure what it was about. I'll pass you a note in study hall once I have more to report.

November 5 S-to-K: That sure sounds like you, all right, including leaving out some pretty key details that might give me context. I don't need names, but maybe genders? You could possibly still manipulate this to your advantage, but I doubt it will end well if you do. If you are correct in your assessment of the epic nature of the pooch-screwing, you might want to walk away from this whole situation.

November 8 K-to-F: I'm so so sorry. Are you even still talking to me? If you are, stop trying to make up happy endings for me.

November 9 V-to-F: Still not sure what is going on.

November 12 V-to-F: Okay, so not as bad as I thought. Also, I am totally willing to pump my wife (for information!) if that's how you wanna roll with it.

November 16 F-to-V: I still do not know what Kowalski's big damn deal is. Maybe it's unwritten: maybe he's worried about me in lieu of being worried about himself? IDK!

November 17 F-to-K: Yes, we're still friends, but I'm a puzzled friend. Also, I was so caught up in my depression that I totally missed that you're not doing so well yourself.

November 22 F-to-V: Well, apparently Kowalski and I are still friends, but I'm still confused. Meanwhile, my new assistant is good enough that I can continue to entertain ambitions of getting out of this one-horse hellhole.

November 24 (day before US Thanksgiving) K-to-F: Okay, good. You got a thing for Vecchio? Also, why were you so heavily invested in my being with That Woman Who Did Not Exist?

November 24 (still the day before US Thanksgiving) K-to-S: So I’m starting to ask the guy some questions. And thanks for being a stand-up gal.

December 1 S-to-K: Good luck with that hot mess. Also, I have a life outside of you; let me share some details of that life.

December 3 V-to-F: Weather is pleasant; are you still planning to get the hell out of Dodge? Also, you’re kind of cagy and that’s probably not helping whatever the hell your problem is.

December 5 K-to-S: Having taken the plunge in asking some tough questions, I’m now sweating bullets over possible results. I’m enjoying my nervousness so much I thought I’d share it with you.

December 9 S-to-K: Wow, you’re in pretty bad shape, but this, too shall pass. Meanwhile, we’ll be in Chicago for Christmas; if you don’t want to deal with Vecchio Drama on top of your own crap, I’ll totally cover for you.

December 10 F-to-K: Vecchio's totally straight, and I'm so eager to reassure you of that I am going to completely forget to mention that no, I am not carrying a torch for him. I wanted you to be happy, and I thought you wanted to be happy, so I assumed you were trying to find the kind of love you said you wanted. Why aren't you, incidentally?

December 11 F-to-V: I am somewhat aware of my deficiencies, but still allowing myself to believe I have adequately answered Kowalski’s concerns about his assuming we had a romance (but I’m never ever going to tell you he said that). Enjoy this Christmas present.

December 14 K-to-F: Present time! It’s “The Magic Flute” which you can score in your head better than any recording I could’ve found. Also, have some ABBA lyrics.

December 14 F-to-K: Present time! It’s a promotional sign that’s been reminding me of you, because you’re physically quite graceful, which believe me I have noticed. At this point, I am almost completely unaware of just how cruelly passive-aggressive this gift is, but later I will probably blush with shame.

December 15 K-to-S: I’m not really as bad off as I sounded; see you at Christmas!

December 20 K-to-F: Are you being a weasel on purpose, or is just second nature to you by now? Are you in love with Vecchio, you big, dumb man? And what the hell is your deal about me and my personal life?

December 27 F-to-K: Let’s take a break while I thank you for a lovely Christmas gift. I really like it a lot, and am beginning to sense that you know me even better than I thought you did.

December 30 F-to-K: You were so far off base about Vecchio that all I could think was “Vecchio’s so very ungay” and I went with that. To extremes. I’m not in love with Vecchio, good Lord, I find the idea faintly nauseating. And believe me, I have learned my lesson about asking about your personal life, which is why it surprises me that you’re hinting that there might be Developments in that area because I thought you had decided it was decidedly Not My Business.

January 4 S-to-K: Good seeing you in Chicago, although you were twitchier than usual. You okay?

January 4 V-to-F: I had a nice time in Chicago. Kowalski seemed more or less human; what’s your beef with him anyway?

January 6 F-to-V: Let’s take a break while I thank you for your thoughtful gift. You shouldn’t have!

January 10 K-to-F: So, I’m guessing you were basically making up Mystery Women for me to date because you were trying to get me off your scent?

January 10 K-to-S: Christmas sure was weird, in a good way. Turns out at least some of the stuff I was worried about re: the guy was just me making myself crazy for no damn reason. Dare I hope…?

January 13 F-to-V: Kowalski is utterly bewildering. _That _is my beef with him.__

January 15 S-to-K: Back at you on the Christmas thing. You should probably know that you have a wider circle of well-wishers than you realize. Also, I’m relieved about the Big Problem That Wasn’t and hoping things turn out well and you don’t screw it up at the last minute.

January 19 K-to-S: I’m still going nuts, but I promise I won’t do anything dumb.

January 19 F-to-K: Can you possibly be saying what you seem to be saying?

January 21 V-to-F: I’ve looked over your old letters, and even I know you’re completely missing some kind of point here.

January 29 F-to-V: It’s Kowalski I’m in love with. Kowalski, do you hear me? Kowalski!

January 29 K-to-F: I’m in love with you. How do you like them apples?

February 7 F-to-K: Those apples make me very angry in the short term, but I adore them in the long term.

February 10 V-to-F Okay, did not see that coming, although upon reflection I probably should have.

February 12 K-to-S He loves me!

February 12 (delivered on February 14) K-to-F: Have some flowers. And song lyrics!

February 14 F-to-K: Have twice as many flowers. And no song lyrics.

February 15 K-to-F: I really do love you, no song lyrics, but have some details instead, maybe that would make you happier?

February 16 S-to-K: I’m glad you are loved. I’m going to guess that it’s Fraser? I don’t get the appeal, but as long as you’re happy, I’m cool.

February 17 F-to-K: Have a list of border-adjacent cities I can transfer to. Why not move to the closest US city and be a police officer there, and then we can commence to enjoy hot international loving?

February 21 K-to-S: How’d you know? And me loving Fraser’s not any dumber than when you loved me, if you think about it.

February 22 F-to-K: Here’s a less practical love letter. Boy, we sure have had a lot of crazy misunderstandings, haven’t we? [Hums theme to “Love, American Style.”]

February 23 F-to-V: Sorry for not writing, but things were nutty as all get-out for a couple of weeks. Anyway, Kowalski and I are in love, and I’m taking practical steps to further our relationship. Coincidentally, things worked out so that we could take advantage of Valentine’s Day specials when we exchanged oddly competitive grand gestures.

March 1 V-to-F I will offer manly support by threatening the man you love with physical harm if he hurts you emotionally. My work here is done.

March 1 K-to-F: Thanks for the homework, pal, but if you want it, I want it. Also, fuck this noise, I’m getting on a plane. To visit you. Freak.

March 8 Telegram from F-to-K: Understood.

July 3, 2004 Pearson to Fraser: Fort Conquest yak yak yak. See, there’s this girl I’m friends with but I’d kind of like it to be more, but we’re doing the long distance thing, so got any advice?


End file.
